City Beat’s Fiction 101 contest just posted it’s winners for 2011. Again not a winner, but not disheartened or concerned. My submissions were so-so at best this year, as I have been preoccupied with about twenty other things. At any rate, I thought I should give them the chance to see the light of day. So here they are for your viewing and critique.

Neighborhood Watch

Old man Murphy meticulously reread the notice found tacked to his front.

Dear Neighbor,
By now you must be aware of the problem our neighborhood is having with vandalism. Youth have targeted our community as a practical joke. We cannot let them get the best of us. Please inform the authorities immediately if you see anything. Together, we can put an end to this problem.

Regards,
John Moore
President, Homeowners Association

After scanning the letter one more time, he unceremoniously grabbed a new pack of toilet paper and headed towards John Moore’s house, chuckling softly to himself.

I love the thought of a crotchety old man going out to vandalize his stuffy neighbor’s home with a teenage style vendetta.

Cravings
Trying to work, her head felt fuzzy, her brain processes stifled. She imagined possible causes: the flu, start of her period, or a hang-over from what? After a couple hours, her stomach grumbled, but the only thing that sounded good was liver. “What?” she asked herself, “that’s ridiculous.” She finally settled on a steak burrito and diet coke. Unsatisfied and a little crazed, she decided to leave work. Heading home, her mouth watered for brains. Sitting there waiting was her new kitten who she faintly remembered pawing her head as she slept. “Damn,” she thought, “Who’s my little zombie cat?”

This story came to me within 20 minutes of my kitten gnawing on my head and the subsequent headache I had. Related or pure coincidence?